Despair

All songs written by Robert Amling
©2006 Robert Amling


The Disease You’ve Been Craving

I cut the meds
To sharpen my hate for you
Each night I’m burning up
I’m ripping out and bleeding through
I don’t need to sleep
I only dream of what I’d do to you
Don’t want to wake
To face another day where I might see you

I don’t care what kills you
I just care that you die
The disease you’ve been craving
Eating you up inside
I pray for the one
That makes you hurt the most
But I’ll take anything
That takes away the memory

It’s like a dream come true for you
The day you always knew would come
And everyone who ever loved
Or simply wanted to fuck you
Now gather round and stare at what’s become of you
Take another picture for their wall
So they’ll remember you

The symptoms you’ve listed
In your sweet little head
At last all add up
Into something to dread
My lovely whore, whom I adore
When they pull the plug
I must confess that I cannot suppress a smile


Superheroes

This is the last suggestion I’ll ever make to you
You’re taking everything wrong
And while it’s clear we don’t see eye to eye
Now I don’t even want to try

I don’t want to go away [I’m scared]
I don’t want to go away [I’m scared of what I’m turning into]

It’s all coming apart at the seams even when I’m pinned
You don’t want me to be who I am
And even the songs you want me to sing
Are all a part of your master plan

Maybe immaturity
Maybe integrity
Maybe conformity
Will tear us all apart
Maybe juvenility
Maybe humanity
Maybe insanity
Is where we are right now

You don’t like me to smile when things are going wrong
You hate the color of my eyes
And I don’t care about your chair or what you wear
Just treat me like a human being
Because I’m scared of you

I’m scared of you
And what you’re making me into
And what you make me want to do
And where you’re taking this to
And what I’m going through
Fuck you


Brand New Girl

Ain’t it funny what a week can do?
A better tan and a new hairdo
And now they all want a look at you
As they pass you by
You’re never tongue-tied anymore
And all the drinks are free
When your picture’s on their wall
You’re finally living out your dream

You’re a Brand New Girl
You’re gonna get what you deserve

Designer body to match your handbag
Welcome welcome to the Big Time
You’re in command because you’re in demand
And every eye is trained on you
Just the way you like it
And it’s always someone else who pays
Just the way you like it
It’s everyone else who pays


Vicodin

My arm is hurting
My right arm is hurting
The muscles are burning
I need something to dull the pain
My foot is hurting
My left foot is hurting
The bones are grinding
I need something to dull the pain

Kiss me again and make it all go away
I love you more and more every day
When I’m with you, it all just fades away
And while the others have let me down
You’ll never let me down
And I love you

My back is hurting
The small of my back is hurting
I feel it pulsing
I need something to dull the pain
My chest is hurting
My heart and lungs are burning
Too tight to breathe
I need something to kill the pain


How Long I’ve Been Acting

Hey there... did you notice
The change in my face?
Don’t it make you wonder
How long I’ve been acting
To keep you from seeing
The way that I’m feeling?

Hey there... did you notice
The color of my hair?
Don’t it make you wonder
How long I’ve been acting
To keep you from seeing
The way that I’m feeling

You think that you know me
But nobody knows me
It’s clear now to me
That nobody knows me